isabell

1. Do not, ever, compare yourself to anyone other but yourself

One of the main things you need to stop doing to become a positive person is to stop comparing yourself to everyone around you. As a girl, i know we all have that person we want to look like or be like, because we simply admire how they look or the way they just are. And in one way, thats okay. Why cant we say good things about other people? But when it gets to the point where you do everything to be just like that person, or say things like "well I'm ugly i wish i looked like her" or "if i was as beautiful as her..." it has gone too far. I think we need to learn to say "no, i dont look like her but yes i am beautiful because i am me, and me is pretty awesome"

Why cant we change this jealousy and desire into something good instead? Like, instead of just crying because we dont look like a certain person, why dont we just compliment them and let them know that we really like the way they look, instead of turning everything on yourself. Let them know, they might need it!

2. Nothing mentally will kill you

If you think about it, whats the worst that can happen? You may get hurt, you will cry, you will scream, you will ask life "why is this happening to me?" and you will wonder if its even worth it all, but you know what? Nothing mentally can kill you. It may feel like it, but thoughts and things that happens around you cant kill you, its the actions you and the people around you are doing. Thats what can kill you. Not your thoughts.

Always remember - things do get better. Somehow, someway one day you will be completely fine again and you will look back at rough times and say "holy shit, life was a bitch to me back then, thank god im a gooddamn bitch myself"

3. Look at how far you have come, and imagine how much further you will go

Think about the last time you felt like shit. When was it? Why did you feel it?
It feels pretty good, huh? To look back at something that you never thought you would be able to do or get through, but just look at you - here you are, stronger than ever. And lets say this thing you thought about happened about a year ago. Alot have changed, right? Then just imagine how much things will change until this time next year.

I think the main thing to remember is to never ever give up, no matter what. Life is worth it. Life is pretty damn good, and if you do challenging things that makes you grow, you will see it. No matter whats going on, do not give up. Hold on to the feeling of proudness and self-respect you know you feel when you do something new for the first time, or something really difficult. Just never give up.

Dont ever let the fear win, thats one of the worst things you can do in my opinion. I tell myself this alot. Whenever im scared of doing something, and when i really want to quit because im scared and terrified. Like i said earlier - nothing mentally can kill you. you are just scared, but thats all. You can do alot of things in life, and you choose if you want to live to obey the fear or of controlling the fear. You can plan you whole life in front of you, because you are scared of being scared. But you need to know, nothing will ever go as planned. But you also need to know that everything happens for a reason, good or bad.

4. Surround yourself with positive energy

To be positive, you need to get positivity. Therefore its important to surround yourself with positive friends, things and ofcourse thoughts. The best thing you can do, even if its the hardest, is to say thank you and goodbye to some people if you are serious in getting on a different and happier path in life. Tell them how thankful you are for being their friend but its not longer what you want. If they are good people they will understand. You also need to reach out as fast as you feel sad or down. A teacher, a friend, a parent - anyone.

5. Ask yourself "is this really who i am/want to be"

Are you doing something you are not completely sure of? Ask yourself "is this really who i want to be?" if it is - congrats! . if its not - change it!! Stop at some point and ask yourself that question and ask what you can do to change your situation to the better. Just remember, if you want change, you need to be willing to let things go. Sometimes, its for the better :)

6. Examine your situation

if your sadness, your depressive mood or whatever you feel to keep you from staying positive is something that have happened and its not just thougths, look at the situation from a different perspective and think about how you can improve the situation. My mum always tells me that i need to look at things different, that everything isnt just black and white. And to be completely honest, its just very recent that i actually got what she meant. If you have done something wrong, try to find ways to make it okay again, and if there isnt a way, which will happen sometimes, try to accept the fact that it have already happened and that you can do much about it now and then move on. If you make a mistake, be open to admit it. Don't waste energy on anything you cant do something about. Remember that no is perfect and let yourself move forward.

7. Life is beautiful if you let it be that way.

One thing i like to do whenever im down is to write lists. For some odd and weird reason lists makes me calm. I guess that goes along with me wanting to have control over the situation. Write a list of simple things. for example, simple things i love; falling asleep with rain splattering on the window, tea, old couple holding hands, going for a walk and smelling the fresh air, photographs, someone telling you they have been thinking of you, getting unexpected text messages and knowing everything is going to be okay.

If you dont like to list things, and you instead like to write letters then i have an idea for you - write a gratitude letter. It doesnt really matter if you actually give the letter to someone or just write it and either save it or throw it away. Write. Write about things you are thankful for. If its person, I highly suggest you really telling them that do appreciate them and why. Maybe its the way their eyes light up when they talk about something they love, the things they say or the way they have a way of listening and understanding. Tell them. And if you write about something else, like i said you can give it to someone to read, who knows, it might open up their eyes and they will appreciate life more.

Dont make life harder than what it is. Life can be pretty shitty sometimes, but its important to get right back up again and see the beautiful things that still there. Love the people who love you, and forget about those who forgot about you. Dont play the victim. Yes bad stuff might have happened to you, but you dont have to play the victim of everything bad that happens. Life is so goddamn beautiful, dont mess up this beauty.

8. Learn to say yes and to say no.

Stand up for yourself. say no when you mean no, and dont say yes just because someone tells you to or because its the norm. Dont follow the stream when it comes to that, dont follow the stream at all. Somedays you really dont feel like hanging out with someone so why dont you say no? Its not mean to say no. Tell them you just feel like to stay in. Dont feel like you will be left by them, or that you let them down, because you dont.

On the other hand, you need to learn to say yes as well. The last thing you want is to isolate yourself. If you just stay in all the time, you need to learn to say yes to things. Dont be scared or afraid that you will mess up and be awkward if you need to meet new people. Learn to say yes to new things, because it will take you further than you might think.

9. Take care of yourself

The main step to a healthy lifestyle is loving and accepting yourself. And to reach this, you need to take care of yourself alot. Its okay to be selfish in hard times. Its more than okay to say "you know what? im gonna put my health infront of anything else" because your health is so important and you are the one in control of it.
Do things that you love, that get the best out of you. Spend time with your siblings, your friends, your parents or your pet. Listen to music. Loud. Scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Find new music and artists. Write your feelings down. Have pamper evenings with face-masks and force your mum to give you a foot massage. Do everything that makes you feel good. And in time, you will feel good.

10. SMILE

One of the most attractive things in my opinion is a person that smiles alot, and i know for sure im not alone on this one. You may not have the perfect teeth, or the perfect smile, but you know what? A smile i gorgeous no matter what because it shows happiness and confidence. Studies have shown that the more you smile, the happier you will be. A myth says if you smile the first thing you do in the morning you will be happier during the day than you would normally be.

One of the best feelings, as a mentioned earlier in this post, is smile from strangers. You don't know why, you just know it happened. Whenever a stranger smiles at me, i get this bubbly feeling in my body and it can honestly make my day sometimes. So why not make another person feel like that? A smile doesn't cost a thing and its contagious.

And if you worry about not getting a smile back? - Don't worry. 90% will smile back, and the other 10 percent are probably living a shitty life if they cant smile back at someone gorgeous as you. And besides, you don't lose anything by smiling at someone who doesn't smile back, the other way around actually - you gain. a lot.

Hello Everyone!

One of the scariest things in life for me is new beginnings. I absolutely hate doing things im not completely sure of, or being put in situations that i dont have control over. Very often i find it hard to meet new people because im pretty shy, which is a bad thing that i've had all my life and am now trying to get rid of. And as i mentioned in my last (and first) post I'm currently going to school and this is new to me. Not the "going to school" part, but i started in a new school in a different city with new people which most of are people ive never met before. This whole thing was nerve-racking to me ofcourse.

Today after my class one of my bestfriends, who luckily goes to the same class as me, had to do a thing on her own so i ended up in a position where i felt so awkward since i didnt know what to do. I felt so stupid because i didnt want to stand all on my own in the middle of the hallway doing absolutely nothing.So i took the opportunity to go and sit down with some girls that goes in the same class as me, and i just simply asked if i could sit with them. Ofcourse they said "yeah, sure, absolutely" and hopped on the couch to give me some space to sit beside them. We ended up talking alot and we just asked eachother questions.

In a few minutes another girl that i had never seen before came up to us and asked if she could sit down with us, and like the girls had just done to me a few minutes before we said yes and made space for her to sit down as well. It turned out she was new to the school since she didnt like her old one at all and had asked to transfer to this one.

With this post im in no way saying that this is something easy to do nor something that comes "natural" to some people, because it isnt. Its not for me. Im shy, im insecure about pretty much everything about myself - the way i look, the way i talk and the way i am. This was so hard for me to do (i felt the panic creeping in my toes) - but im so glad i did it. Because now i know that many many people are more open minded than we like to think they are, they are nice, and are just as nervous and insecure as we are.

As we all know - beginnings are hard, ends are sad, but all that really matter is the time between those two.

so go out there, do stuff that scares you, or maybe even freaks you out, because in the long run it will be worth it and you will feel good about yourself because you've grown as a person because of it.

xoxo

Friday, 29 November 2013

You are never alone | Selfhate, tumblrhate and negativity

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

10 ways to stay positive!